I’ve been feeling extra anxious lately. And a little angry, too. Anxiety’s an old friend but anger is something I would normally leave to the experts. I recently had one of those flukey experiences that, although completely accidental and in no way indicative of the norm, confirm all of one’s paranoia and suspicions about the hostility of the universe. Told you so, universe! Anyhow – now that the initial shock and humiliation have started to wear off, I feel a tad miffed. And I’m starting to lose my patience with some on-going frustrations in my life, too. But – I don’t really know how to be angry and I certainly don’t want these external factors to influence my actual life, so I’m trying to find the courage to let it all go to a recently proven to be untrustworthy universe and get on with it.
My life is pretty good right now, to be honest, and all evidence points to its just getting better. When I can relax for a couple of seconds, I’m actually enjoying it. Normally – every time a little stability comes along, I get restless and start making changes. Chaos feels natural; tranquility makes me anxious. Whatever…I’m trying to rock it a little differently now. Maybe feeling a little more outraged and a little less victimized is a part of the whole picture. The whole big picture of my life. Or just some more monkeyshine.