Abduction by mary elizabeth

I’m pretty sure aliens abducted my boyfriend. I didn’t see it happen or anything, but the evidence is strong!  Just like in the movies, I keep asking whatever it is they left in his place test questions and it keeps failing.

 For example:

Me: My company picnic is on Sunday. Should I get you a ticket?

“Boyfriend”: Of course! I’ll make sure I’m off work in time.

 Or how about this:

Me: I have to work on the 4th of July. Would you be willing to take the kids to the parade and then to the park for the fair?

“Boyfriend”: Sure!

 See? Clearly not him. My actual boyfriend hates picnics and parades and fun. He hates doing anything that’s community spirited. Evidently, the aliens based my boyfriend’s replacement on some amalgam of the “typical American boyfriend” and not him specifically.  But – I’m thinking I may adjust to life with this replicant.  I may even grow to love it in time. I kind of miss my angry little rock star, though.


Water Witch by mary elizabeth

So – is this a global problem, or just a local one? Our water bill was a twitch over a hundred dollars this month. A HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! Does that seem reasonable? It’s not like it’s distilled or flavored or anything. We don’t have a hot tub or a fountain or even a garden. We just wash ourselves and our dishes. This bill also covers our participation in the city sewer system which I’m not quite ready to opt out of yet, but this last bill does make me wonder if I shouldn’t cost out monthly portapotty rates, just in case. Expenses just keep growing more quickly than cash. I’m not sure we actually have a hundred dollars to spend on this each month but what’s the alternative?

There isn’t one as far as the city water department is concerned, meaning it’s us who need to figure something out on our side. A part time job for poor old Mary Elizabeth? Monthly yard sales? I just don’t know. Do I really want to work weekends just so I can continue to flush my toilet? How long do you think they’d let me keep the job I do have if I cut back to bi-weekly showers? It’s a puzzle, but one I feel like I’ve already done. We just keep cutting back and cutting back further. Thank goodness I’m such a whiz at smiling in the face of adversity. Maybe I should write a gratitude list and start it off with “clean water” and “indoor plumbing”. Maybe I should Google some people and places where these things can’t even be bought. Maybe I should dig a well.  I’ll let you know how it goes…

Thanks, South Park by mary elizabeth

Okay – who watched South Park last night? I did. And I’ve been feeling kind of sad ever since. Lame, I know, but there it is. Why did they do that to us? Or to me, anyway. I guess it’s because I just hope that my kids can hang on to some innocent joy even into adulthood, despite the eighty four million reasons to be cynical with which they’re presented every day. Not to mention the cynical role models with whom they’re living.  I try my best to find things to love and enjoy and laugh about, and i hope it’s sincere. I hope my good moods aren’t just painfully obvious masks for an underlying weariness with everything around me. Ugh – poor Marshes!

You know what? They aren’t masks. I do find joy and humor around me all the time.  I believe that new and exciting things I haven’t even imagined yet are right around the corner. I love food and flowers and music and netflix. Just the fact that I have kids is an amazingly creative act I can be proud of, let alone that they’re growing into such interesting, creative individuals themselves . I have a wildly talented boyfriend with whom I’m honored to share this chapter of my life. Thanks, South Park, for reminding me to not let cynicism infect my entire world view.  Life is good, so long as you don’t give up and stop looking at it that way.

And the Living is Easy by mary elizabeth

We are just twenty days away from the summer solstice. The days are getting really long and the weather should be getting nicer. The kids will be out of school making mornings peaceful again. But lately I’ve been feeling kind of restless. There’s absolutely nothing going on in my life that warrants complaining, but I sure feel like doing it. I want a more glamorous job. I want my boyfriend to worship me.  I want to turn my kids back into babies so all they want from me is milk and a smile. I want to lose twenty pounds but I don’t want to exercise or cut down on sweets. I hate all my clothes. I can’t get comfortable.  Do I have to be everywhere I go?

I don’t know why some periods in life are comfortable and some aren’t. That’s just the way it goes, I guess. There’s probably some huge unresolved issue in my life that I need to face. Gross. But – while I’m waiting for it to surface, I’m going to try to welcome summer with an open heart. I’m going to ponder sweet summer memories from my childhood and try to create some for my kids. I’m going to try to remember to be grateful. And – I’m going to start exercising.