Walk of Shame by mary elizabeth

Here’s a funny story. My co-worker and I were walking to the grocery store the other evening. It was delightful! The weather was a little rainy, but not too cold or windy. We saw a seal frolicking in the river as we crossed the bridge. There was a beautiful sunny spot way out near the horizon on the majestic Pacific. The conversation was fun and intelligent. Just lovely. Anyhow – I was carrying the bluest, most Wal-Marty bag in the world as I’d recently been extorted into buying it and insist upon using it whenever I can. You can probably see it from space. Anyhow – after shopping we decided, rather impulsively, to stop at McDonald’s for fries. Keep in mind that we not only don’t spend a whole lot of time in either Wal-Mart or McDonald’s, we work for a company that promotes a significantly different lifestyle, to say the least. So, as we exited McDonald’s – salty grease on our lips, highly visible bags in hand – my friend commented on how awkward it would be if the owners of the company for which we work were to drive by just then. And then they did.

Typical, huh. And funny. I’d like to say, “Gee I just can’t get away with anything!” but that’s not what’s funny about this situation. What’s funny is that a grown woman A) thinks she has to sneak in and out of McDonald’s B) still views people like her employers as the authority figures from whom to hide such activity and C) feels the need to flaunt a Wal-Mart bag around town because she felt forced into paying twenty seven cents for it. Every once in while, I feel like I’m providing my children with a decent example of what it means to grow up – what maturity and adulthood are supposed to look like. But most of the time, I don’t. Oh well. At least we’re having some fun along the way. Maybe this weekend we’ll fill the Wal-Mart bag with homemade popcorn and generic sodas and try and sneak it into the movies.

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19 thoughts on “Walk of Shame by mary elizabeth

  1. wesleeduncan says:

    baby you right the best blogs…;-)~-

  2. Kathleen Fain says:

    I have so felt the same!!!! You nailed it again Mary.

  3. Brett says:

    Thanks so much for sharing Mary! I enjoyed it thoroughly and have had similar experiences…Keep being your lovely self ; -]

  4. Love it Mary Eliz…and just think..we’d still be calling you plain mary if it hadn’t been for–well, you know. And, speaking of popcorn….

  5. Sedate Me says:

    Professionally speaking, you really should be ashamed to have eaten at McDonalds as anything but an “undercover operation” to expose how bad it is for you. And your boss should embarrass you for it too.

    A raw food chef eating in the capital of shitty “food”? It’s like an anti-gay preacher getting caught having gay sex in a bus station toilet.

    • dang it! this comment interrupted me right in the middle of my bucket of kfc and now i’m getting my keyboard all greasy! yucky – but finger lickin’ good! which, incidently, were my exact words last time i was in a bus station toilet.

      seriously, and just for clarification, i am not a raw food chef – professionally or otherwise. and yes – maybe i should be ashamed to eat the occasional box of fries, but my point was that shame should come from within, not because other people – like you! – make me feel that way. purity is a process.

      thanks for reading!

      • Teresa says:

        Bravo, Mary Elizabeth!!!

      • Sedate Me says:

        I re-read your “About” page and realized I misunderstood your job description. I’m sorry about that. The name of your other blog threw me off.

        So, I guess you shouldn’t be that professionally ashamed. However, you still blog about raw food, so eating at McDonalds does open you up to accusations of hypocrisy. That might be where the guilt came from. Your sub-conscious might be telling you to start working toward the next level of purity.

        However, I still think your employer is professionally obligated to gently needle you about it, if only for job security reasons. (After all, more McDonalds eating = less raw food eating = less demand for raw food culinary institutes = less employment.)

        You’re most certainly right when claiming the shame should come from within. Unfortunately, we live in a self-celebratory era where fewer & fewer are even capable of shame. In fact, more & more proudly boast about the most retrograde and anti-social of behaviours. While I realize the effectiveness is usually limited, I recognize there is still a roll for the occasional, well targeted, “tut-tut” to act as a self-shame jump-start for the remaining folks who are still capable of experiencing it.

        Personally, I’m not really into shaming people. I prefer beating them over the head with a lead pipe until they realize the error of their ways, or lose consciousness. I am glad to see that you are constantly working on advancing your level of purity and wish you well with that ongoing quest.

        (Curious side note: Two weeks ago, all 7 KFC locations in my city closed for good. There will be no more “finger licking good” keyboards here.)

      • sedate me – you are my new favorite reader! and, i must admit, right on most counts including my employers’ right to needle me, which is why i spend so much time sneaking around and hiding. i try and avoid hypocrisy by being honest in my work blog about the fact that i’m not 100% raw, etc., but maybe am too honest in the personal one about just how un-raw i am. thanks for your response and acknowledgement of my rare ability to feel shame when straying outside my moral comfort zone. my quest for inner peace, self confidence and the courage of my convictions continues!

  6. kacolo says:

    professionally speaking, “sedate me” needs to go back to middle school… grammar anyone?

    • Sedate Me says:

      The next time you want to needlessly insult someone for a perceived grammatical failing, it might be wise to use proper punctuation while doing so. For the record, I could recognize improper punctuation even before entering Kindergarten.

      It might also be wise not to insult someone for the quality of their grammar when the host’s response to the comment in question is littered with highly dubious grammar and improper punctuation. I point this out not to insult the host (to whom I intended no insult at all), but to demonstrate that your attempt to insult me only draws attention to the host’s grammatical failings. (It also gives her the chance to say “See? I really can’t get away with anything. Not even grammatical errors on my own blog!”)

      Nice work, Chomsky!

  7. vickieanne says:

    I am another one of those who never get away with anything… It was so funny to read this! You are truely gifted in creative writing! Just keep blogging…keep blogging.

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